peacewillow's perspective

you may have read somewhere, or heard someone say, that the universe is comprised of love, or that “love is the universal language”, both of which are nice sentiments that ultimately reflect humanity’s misunderstanding of how the universe works.

basic science will tell you that the universe, and everything within it, is comprised of energy, which does not experience emotions.  however, that energy does recognize the fact that all of it is connected, no matter how far-flung and varied its’ expressions may be, and that connection is quite possibly what people mean by the word “love” in these sentiments.

but humanity has so many different meanings for such a small word that we really need to weed out the ones that don’t belong, starting with the one used most often: falling in love.

“falling in love”, as most people use it, actually describes a biological process akin to addiction, with similar symptoms, such as sleeplessness, loss of appetite, obsessive thoughts of the desired one and a strong feeling that you just can’t go on living without them, even tho you literally just met.

emotionally it is expressed more as “lust” than “love”, since this initial encounter is based predominately on physical attraction, rather than personality or common interests.  “puppy love” and “first love” often fall into this category, as well, altho much more gently.

on occasion, one person will meet another and their souls will recognize each other, as energy recognizes its’ connection to itself.  while not understanding what is happening on a conscious level, both people may feel an unexplained connection to the other, one not based on any type of physical attraction.  this is sometimes referred to as “love at first sight”, and it may be the closest any human being ever comes to experiencing the connection known by the universe.

while the universe itself doesn’t “feel” anything, a deep sense of connection to all that is would most likely translate into the human emotions of caring, compassion, kindness and respect, which are the building blocks of true, unconditional love.

unfortunately, tho, humanity seems to only be able to express these emotions sporadically, if at all, and then only to those they know well, at least consciously.  unconsciously these same emotions are expressed freely whenever there is a natural disaster or tragic loss big enough to make the evening news.  why else would communities come together when such things occur, if not for the deep empathic connection everyone shares deep in their souls?

the challenge, then, is to bring this unconscious soul connection to physical consciousness, as an underlying unconditional love for all that exists.  but how to do this…. that is the question.

as an emotion, love is often taught as a conditional thing – if you act right,  i’ll love you, but, if you do something i don’t like, i won’t – which isn’t really love, now is it?  for this reason, it is vitally important that parents and guardians let their children know that they will love them always, no matter what, and to really mean it when they say that.  any displeasure, punishment or discipline doled out should be about the actions of the child, not the child itself.  in other words, bad behavior does not make you a bad person, unworthy of ever being loved.  to the contrary, by pointing out and correcting bad behavior, parents show how much they care for their offspring, by teaching them to be the best they can be, with love.

a word about “unconditional love” as it relates to “universal connection”:

“unconditional love” is not an emotion, it is a recognition that you are connected to everything that exists, and they to you.  it is that deep sense of connection, of oneness, that causes you to want to help those in need, whether you know them or not.  it is a deep instinctual caring, compassion and respect for every other living thing, no matter what they do.

this is not ”romantic love”, that bounces from one to another randomly. nor is it simply “familial love”, where you feel like you have to care about someone simply because they’re related to you.  this is “forever love” that lasts thru disagreements, knock down drag out arguments, nasty breakups, family estrangements and even death.

this is the love that enjoys passing out random acts of kindness, especially to strangers.  it’s the same love that stops to give a hug or a smile to someone looking sad, just because they look sad….

so many people today complain that “nobody” loves them, that they are “all alone” in the world.

or they brag about how they’ve isolated themselves because nobody “understands” them, and they don’t need anybody else anyway.

but how many of them profess to love anyone else?  is there anyone they care enough about to call and check up on?  is there anyone less fortunate than themselves that they could help out?

are they simply afraid of meeting new people?  afraid of being hurt or rejected?

feeling “alone” on a planet of over 7.5 billion people sounds like it would take some work, ya know?

and you would still never really be alone…

as we’ve already established, everything that exists is connected as part of one whole, so, even if you are sitting in a room by yourself, you’re not alone.  heck, your own body is comprised of untold numbers of individual living cells and bacteria who are with you every moment of every day – you are NEVER alone!!

but, of course, that’s not what humans mean when they talk about being alone.  what they mean is that they are bereft of human companionship, and they are the only ones who can change that.

if you want friends, you need to be friendly.  you need to care enough about the other person, or people, to allow them to speak, and to have opinions of their own.  people who care about each other will still disagree with each other from time to time, because each individual is unique, and so is their perspective.  and that’s fine. love unconditionally, remember?  focus on the interests you share and respect the right to “agree to disagree” about the other stuff.

if people were honest, they would admit that all they really want is to know that someone cares about them…

but they also know that they must reach out and care about someone else first.

you won’t make friends or find someone who cares by isolating yourself in your safe little haven, not even with hours of social media interaction.  to meet real people, to make authentic connections, you have to go outside your comfort zone and physically do something, something that involves other people.

yes, it can be scary to put yourself out there, and you may just get rejected a few times, but you can better your chances by picking an activity you already love, and finding a group of others who love it, too.  this way you have at least one built in thing to connect over.

the more people you meet, the better chance you have of connecting on that deeper level, so don’t give up… but don’t try too hard, either.

the goal is for you to spread as much love – caring, kindness, compassion, respect – around as you can, which in turn will fulfill your own desire for those things.

much love to you all…

namaste